In marriage and divorce, we come across many experiences. “It’s too hard to pull on with my spouse. How long can I go adjusting and bearing all tortures? No chance to go a long way”. If these are the words heard from your spouse frequently with tears or fears, what can I do for you to pave the way for peace? I’m not here to give you commanding words of dos and don’ts. Also, I can’t drag you to come along my way to solve your problems. It’s with you to decide which is right and which aren’t. Anyhow I am pleased to give you some strong tips to stop divorce and choose adjusting when in a critical situation rather than stimulating yourself to find out grounds for divorce. You are sure to have alternative ways to go along the present role with real love to your spouse.
If your spouse just moved out choosing divorce and re-marriage with somebody else, it might throw you to the end of everything good with your homely peace. Such a breakdown has adverse impacts on your present and future life as well. Of course, it is too bad to be all alone without a life partner, not in a bad sense but for eternal demands of the soul. It becomes still worse if you have kids and come across a dilemma for ‘live together’ or ‘get divorce’ in the sense of marriage and divorce. The problem will be enhancing your stress if you have with you aged parents dependent on you. So, it is my deliberate option to give you tips to stop divorce and choose adjusting. Choose to seek and talk to someone who is really interested in your well being of your wedded life. Express your faith and confidence in him and make him feel that you seek a sincere guidance for your family problem.
Tips to stop divorce:
1. Do not depend totally on others to help compromising as there is more chance for a little bit of selfishness in serving guidance to settle your problem. Results of selfishness may reflect at a later stage, of course against your interest.
2. Think rationally as all humans are rational creatures irrespective of sex. A rational thinking about the current relationship problems may promote your endurance with the apparent aspect of your problem.
3. Find out the root cause which went wrong in creating space between you and your spouse. Try to bug out the same by frank talks with your spouse putting off your lingering ego.
4. Chart out a precise list of points of confrontations between you and your beloved spouse. Make an action plan to fire out the infectious ingredients to promote and help relationship.
5. Try to forgive painful experiences due to your spouse. Forgiving and compromising are good tools compensating and consoling all deficiencies.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Marriage and Divorce – It is good to stop choosing divorce.Why?
Marriage and Divorce are two gifts by God, if at all you believe. If you believe ‘Marriage is fixed in the Heaven’ then you are necessarily to believe the other phrase also namely ‘Divorce is fixed in the same Heaven’. Yes, it is Heaven or Hell with ‘marriage’ as well as ‘divorce’ depending on the individual’s view of perceiving them. In other words it’s to say that marriage is heavenly to someone while it’s hellish for others. The same philosophy holds well with divorce also. As such, the individual has to decide his destination after getting married with willingness or by compulsion.
Marriage cannot be treated as a casual and fun making event happening in one’s life but a memorable day finding a place in the family history. It is an agreement or holy bond of sharing life between two humans of opposite sex. Anyhow this holy tie up between a man and woman varies with countries and cultural support. Traditionally it was a sin to think about divorce but now the days are gone to honour the same because of other influencing factors. Still, here is to emphasize the fact that once married is ever married until the last day of life of both as life partners. Marriage and divorce statistics records are not time bounded.
Is Divorce the last resort?
Certainly it’s not so if you contemplate a while. More things are there to be worried later than the better ones after getting divorce with children or none. So, it’s best to stop divorce seeking thoughts.
1. If you have kids their future gets darkened with all inconveniences without strong parental support. Children of broken marriage are to suffer much in life whether the child is with you or separated to go behind your spouse. They will have survival, but to what level?
2. Making distance between you and your spouse could cause you to look at your problems with more anxiety and depression. This space requires time to reevaluate your situation, to recall the causes of effects and arrive at solution independently. In many cases it becomes costly with your survival without a life partner to share the burden mentally as well as socially.
3. Divorce and remarriage will be a havoc and hectic solution with all irreparable damages. For each and everything suspicions will come a long way to destroy your peace of mind having no other go except to bear with all misunderstandings.
4. You must understand that getting divorce through legal separation though divorce court is easy if there is a mutual will-but ending or breaking the marriage bond is the toughest decision that you have to make. There is no perfect marriage as one may envisage as the people all around are not perfect creatures. If you remember the proverb ‘Every tide has its ebb’ then you will realize before opting for divorce for y cause.
5. Another most regretting and resentful thing after divorce is the new complex formed in you amidst happy couples around you who are to look at you as a pitiable creature suffering an irrecoverable loss.
Considering the above significant points, you may better decide divorce not as the last resort to renew your life anticipating blossoming buds. If you think well you will understand that marriage and divorce should not be chained consecutively and so you decide safely that you stop choosing divorce and make up to choose for adjusting.
Marriage cannot be treated as a casual and fun making event happening in one’s life but a memorable day finding a place in the family history. It is an agreement or holy bond of sharing life between two humans of opposite sex. Anyhow this holy tie up between a man and woman varies with countries and cultural support. Traditionally it was a sin to think about divorce but now the days are gone to honour the same because of other influencing factors. Still, here is to emphasize the fact that once married is ever married until the last day of life of both as life partners. Marriage and divorce statistics records are not time bounded.
Is Divorce the last resort?
Certainly it’s not so if you contemplate a while. More things are there to be worried later than the better ones after getting divorce with children or none. So, it’s best to stop divorce seeking thoughts.
1. If you have kids their future gets darkened with all inconveniences without strong parental support. Children of broken marriage are to suffer much in life whether the child is with you or separated to go behind your spouse. They will have survival, but to what level?
2. Making distance between you and your spouse could cause you to look at your problems with more anxiety and depression. This space requires time to reevaluate your situation, to recall the causes of effects and arrive at solution independently. In many cases it becomes costly with your survival without a life partner to share the burden mentally as well as socially.
3. Divorce and remarriage will be a havoc and hectic solution with all irreparable damages. For each and everything suspicions will come a long way to destroy your peace of mind having no other go except to bear with all misunderstandings.
4. You must understand that getting divorce through legal separation though divorce court is easy if there is a mutual will-but ending or breaking the marriage bond is the toughest decision that you have to make. There is no perfect marriage as one may envisage as the people all around are not perfect creatures. If you remember the proverb ‘Every tide has its ebb’ then you will realize before opting for divorce for y cause.
5. Another most regretting and resentful thing after divorce is the new complex formed in you amidst happy couples around you who are to look at you as a pitiable creature suffering an irrecoverable loss.
Considering the above significant points, you may better decide divorce not as the last resort to renew your life anticipating blossoming buds. If you think well you will understand that marriage and divorce should not be chained consecutively and so you decide safely that you stop choosing divorce and make up to choose for adjusting.
Marriage and Divorce – To make Divorce Final or Think Alternative?
Marriage and divorce can be argued in either way which depends(depending) on the individual. The opinion of a third person cannot help much in this matter. The opinion of the experienced alone can be considered as the best guide but that too should be without selfish base. Some persons may serve advice for divorce as the best choice while many may not be for it. If thought well, divorce as a final solution could cause more miserable consequences than one can actually imagine. After thinking well about family law of divorce, it may be finalized that all other alternatives are done away as impossible things to consider. The two sided problem can be felt well only by a person being in a dilemma as to choose ‘divorce’ or ‘adjust with’.
Seeking for lawyers:
Most of the lawyers are in general to serve professionally as needed by the client. No doubt they are the competent persons to give points for and against the problem on hand. Well, they are always to remind you the all ways and consequences of divorce either leading to peace or being thrown to misery. But there is the danger of the psychological nature with the lawyers to suggest you strong points in a close line with your ambitions with professional catch interest. So, a lawyer cannot be the right person in the issue of marriage and divorce to guide you to legal separation and divorce or help relationship to live together with all adjustments or to have a final break relation.
Seeking for a marriage counselor:
Family counseling is in most of the cases to suggest negative points against divorce. In spite of their expertness a counselor’s interest is to promote mutual understanding and adjustments by putting an end to relationship issues in between the couple. The torturous life of the problematic couple cannot be realized as a whole by a counselor whatever may be his experience and knowledge in offering a counseling service. Only with a very rare and a few extreme cases, a counselor chooses to give advice for divorce.
Divorce or to go adjusting:
The choice is with the couple involved with the torturous life. The final decision is with the grieved persons. If divorce is the route you choose with all grounds for divorce, it tells upon your children also. It is a general fact that the children of broken marriages are the most affected and sufferers. So, there is the need to think well before deciding for divorce.
If the choice is for the other alternative of going with adjustments, the chance for the same should be confirmed by both. Remember, if it breaks again the consequences will be still worse than before with a broken heart. So, much concern is there even for second thoughts against choosing divorce.
It is for your welfare that you make time to interpreting the pros and cons of marriage and divorce and decide to choose for adjusting with your spouse and stop choosing divorce to enlighten your future.
Seeking for lawyers:
Most of the lawyers are in general to serve professionally as needed by the client. No doubt they are the competent persons to give points for and against the problem on hand. Well, they are always to remind you the all ways and consequences of divorce either leading to peace or being thrown to misery. But there is the danger of the psychological nature with the lawyers to suggest you strong points in a close line with your ambitions with professional catch interest. So, a lawyer cannot be the right person in the issue of marriage and divorce to guide you to legal separation and divorce or help relationship to live together with all adjustments or to have a final break relation.
Seeking for a marriage counselor:
Family counseling is in most of the cases to suggest negative points against divorce. In spite of their expertness a counselor’s interest is to promote mutual understanding and adjustments by putting an end to relationship issues in between the couple. The torturous life of the problematic couple cannot be realized as a whole by a counselor whatever may be his experience and knowledge in offering a counseling service. Only with a very rare and a few extreme cases, a counselor chooses to give advice for divorce.
Divorce or to go adjusting:
The choice is with the couple involved with the torturous life. The final decision is with the grieved persons. If divorce is the route you choose with all grounds for divorce, it tells upon your children also. It is a general fact that the children of broken marriages are the most affected and sufferers. So, there is the need to think well before deciding for divorce.
If the choice is for the other alternative of going with adjustments, the chance for the same should be confirmed by both. Remember, if it breaks again the consequences will be still worse than before with a broken heart. So, much concern is there even for second thoughts against choosing divorce.
It is for your welfare that you make time to interpreting the pros and cons of marriage and divorce and decide to choose for adjusting with your spouse and stop choosing divorce to enlighten your future.
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